ME. i lost the battle to facebook after a day... this took an extra day. so i'm back and ranting about numerous things. like neighbours. and how awkward it is when things dont work out and they still have to live here for another four months... i got my book back... yay. neighbours really suck though... and neighbour's brothers and neighbour's friends... man they are everywhere... if only i could remember what he looked like. i love house. its the only show i always want to watch... weird i know. so my google is doing this heaps gay and annoying thing where i search pick the thing i want to get taken to one of three places:
1) a website about the price of oil and coal... wtf?
2) i get taken to redtube... i have now seen things i never wanted to i which their home page was not pictures of penis in weird places thanks for the really really wrong images
3) optus and various other phone and internet company pages

please someone make it stop... its making my life hard... i just want to search not deal with redirection that take me bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad places... if i had wanted to see a penis in a butt i would have searched for porn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate it so much... i think i'm done for now i'll be back though i cant get enough of the only person who comments on my journals... as long as he comments more journals will keep coming...

apparently if i say that to a table of guys i'm bad... i dont get it. i'm feeling a bit the loser since no one hit on me and i wasnt allowed to hit on people by saying sup in your pants so where is the fun... i am cutting facebook, msn and my phone out of my life for a week... if it goes well maybe even longer... hopefully that will either be enough time to become a hermit in the eyes of the world or people will have forgotten i exist and deleted me... both valid options in my world right now... i'm moving far far away to a place where people dont exist and alcohol is a figment of my imagination. so i might be back in a week i might drop of the planet i havent totally decided yet... you'll either see me around or not... bye guys i'll miss you.

so i did a stupid thing but luckily it all worked out in the end. having my friends think i'm stupid would make me but i know its true so i cant get too with them. if i wasnt stupid i think i'd get quite with them all though for being so mean and unfriendly. so my roomie is a friend of her sister's at the moment... kind of. weird situation if you ask me... but no one ever does. i had acupuncture today it made me feel then i went folder shopping and got about the lack of decent folders available to me... so just dance is on tv... it makes me almost want to good thing i know how to contain my and i dont do anything stupid like actually my roomie wants me to go out to the pub to mock people... not sure i want to i mean i cant afford to go out and i feel tired and gross... now she's annoyed with me for wanting to just stay home. she will just go find a guy anyway and i'll be mocking people alone so i'm not sure i see the point. i feel like i'm always being hit in the face by a tomato and not in a funny way more of a "hahaha suck it bitch" from the universe kind of way. maybe i can take some and i'll feel better... or happy or cranky or i'll OD ... so many options so hard to choose. i think i need a good maybe that will make me feel better rather than unmotivated and tired. or maybe a will help me. something... oh a nap could work. i think i'll go clean my room have a nap and do some study...

...if complications didnt exist and everything worked out for the best... rather than not so great... romeo and juliet puts me in a weird mood... guess its cos its tragic and all that... so i think i'll go watch jizz in my pants and then i'll be better... underarms are weird. i'm trying to relax and stay relaxed to prevent more twitching... stupid muscle spasms.... i think that maybe i should go outside... that seems like it might improve my mood or at least give me a different view... i'm currently sunny herbert so maybe i'll sun myself... i want a potion that will make me sleep for 20 hrs... that'd be nice. almost as nice as shapes... i made a list of things to do... havent done many of them... i'm so totally lazy. i dont even have enough effort to rant good... well i'm off probs to sleep cos that doesnt take much effort...

bye bye

so i'm currently having an allergic reaction to nurofen... it started 1am tuesday 24th. its causing involuntary muscle spasms in my diaphragm and abs. they hurt so bad i want it to stop i'm taking parkinson's disease for it so dont assume its a mild twitch. my roomie has been far too supportive i wish i wasnt such a bad friend. and the neighbour who i dont like made me go to hospital at 130am tuesday night where the doctor didnt care about my uncontrollable spasms. then when nicki was driving me home i spewed on a golf bag... i feel so bad for the person who had to deal with that. well at least this has shown my real friends from those who are friends when i can drive them somewhere... i like my friends who actually care about me rather than the fact that they miss sleep cos they insist i go to emergency and then are late for work... seriously i said i didnt need hospital and i said he didnt have to come i told him to go back to bed but no he didnt and now he hates me... my evidence for this is that he gave me all my stuff back and called me yesterday to ask about my roomies broken down car and he called me cos he didnt have her number. thanks fuckhead. well i sure know how to ruin my own life. i'm currently not shaking my meds have kicked in. i think i will cut my phrenic nerve if it hasnt stopped tomorrow seriously i'm coming up to the 4 day mark of uncontrollable muscle spasms. i think i have a right to cut my nerve even if that means i cant breathe. my abs hurt so bad my back hurts basically all surface area between my shoulders and butt hurts. and the constant movement makes me so tired but i'm not even losing weight. totally lame. but the meds make me high if i take them without food. i'm a cheap cheap pill taker. 200 pills for $20 pretty good right i can just get high got the next 200 days. these pills give me freaky eyes though... not cool. so i'm on the hunt for a nice guy now no more guys who hit, take drugs, get drunk every day, come with daughters and ex girlfriends they plan to move in and generally no one i meet at any pub. so that limits my place to meet guys and cos i'm trying to maintain the standards i just set i think i'm doomed to aloneness. i mean i cant even blame the neighbour for not wanting to continue anything after tuesday night. i understand how unworth the effort i am and how i'm far too medically retarded to be anything more to a guy but a life support system cos everytime any guy finds out about my migraines they want nothing to do with me... they see how insane i get during one and they realise just how crap it is to spend any sort of time with me cos i get sick. actually i dont understand why anyone speaks to me for more than a week. i annoy myself so how must other ppl feel toward me... i get the impression not good. but nicki and steve are supoortive of my current state and the neighbour figured out how truly screwed i am... but i guess i need to focus on the positives... abs of steel and he gave me my stuff back so thats nice. what else is good right now... not sure but if i dont turn up at work on monday i think i might get fired... awesome thanks for being sympathetic dear boss of mine cos i can clearly stop involuntary muscle spasms cant i... my eyes are weird from my meds... and i need to drive to town to save nicki from her burn... she drunkly walked into a hot oven... i need a nice period where my eyes are normal but the twitch isnt back... thats my happy place
well i'm off to lay down... drown in my tiredness

bye bye